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I applaud you for taking that direction with little Maya. You’re right so many of us from an early age are taught to put beauty before brains. And even those of us blessed with both tend to forgo our intelligence in order for others to think we’re pretty. It’s a sad truth. But it is the teachings of women like you who can teach us to see where the shift needs to be made. I’m not saying to leave fashion and beauty by the wayside (people like me would be out of a job if that happened) but I am saying that the value of education should be lauded too.

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By the late nineteenth, early twentieth centuries, serious challenges to accepted beliefs about gender were mounted in both Japan and China. Although concerns about women’s position had been expressed earlier, the concept of women’s liberation became a major motivating force within the era’s nationalist, reform, and revolution movements. Male nationalists initiated the discussion by arguing that an improvement in the status of women was essential to their country’s acceptance by other technologically advanced nations. A core of educated women in both Japan and China joined the call by speaking and writing in public for the first time. Conservative nationalists and traditionalists in Japan and China at different times reacted by mounting long campaigns against any change in gender roles. Ultimately female activists were labeled unseemly, unfeminine, and too western.

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Good article, but this shouldn’t be something you have to squelch yourself over. Children are people too albeit younger, less experienced, less able in many ways, and more vulnerable, they’re people: they have ambitions and dreams and serious interests of their own. It is really important to talk to and not at a child, they appreciate being taken seriously, and I suspect they know they are different from adults without exactly knowing how that might be. If I walked up to an adult and talked all about how they looked and not to them about who they are that would be insulting and I think the same goes for children and perhaps more so for young girls who get a rough deal in just about every human culture (which is shameful and sickening). Good on you for doing this but I reckon you are going to find the experience of talking to these younger people a rewarding and educative experience the more you do it, I certainly have from the conversations I have had with children I have met. Thanks for the article.

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Enjoyed reading the original article. I have 2 (grown) daughters. I have a question – some children are NOT either attractive or Sport-able or clever or amazingly talented in some other area. They are average. They look a bit ugly sometimes or neat, have long or short hair, neatly done or messy. Their achievements are mediocre and their dreams are pretty middle of the road. So – what do you say to thse girls? I have an answer too. You say very little. But anything you DO say is geared towards opening their mind a little. Inspiring a dream. Raising expectations. As an earlier writer said, each of these aspects are important and blinkered focus on only one is unbalanced. Its a good idea to become accustomed to inviting wider response from any individual. Remember, every word or action is a seed. Whatever you choose to say, remember that you are shaping their future – and your own. Encourage. Support. Build. You don’t have to be Special to be special to someone.

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This. Is. AWESOME. I am the eldest of four children and my 8 year old sister loves nothing more than to devour a book. She has a better vocabulary than half of the people in my college classes, and really couldn’t give less of a hoot about what other people think. I wrote my college application essay about how her gallantry through her celiac disease inspires me, but she has shown me so much more than that. Elli represents the person I wish I could have been 12 years ago. My life would have been so much different if I had her confidence and bravery at her age. I am so glad to have had the opportunity to help foster her sense of self-worth, and I could not be more proud of her. Thank you Latina, for reminding us that every interaction with a child matters, no matter how short.

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Thank you for your post. As a mom of a daughter, age 19, I can tell you that the trend to find your self worth in your looks is born at an early age. However, my daughter is strong and conversant and sometimes a pain in the ass. She does get down on herself for her weight 5’7″ and 170 lbs, but she is beautiful both inside and out and I couldn’t be more proud. At 48, as a recently divorced stay at home mom, I went back to school to get a business degree (graduated in 2011 -Thank You very much :)) and showed my kids that it isn’t only important to get an education but to use your brain to take care of yourself. I am constantly challenged to maintain a youthful appearance in order to maintain my place in a 20 something world where I now work and play. It’s wise to give kids a balanced perspective. Our inner self that is reflected in our outward appearance, is displayed, not for accolades, but to allow their self love to shine through.